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Saturday, October 25, 2014

Catholicism, Pornographic Sounds, and an awkward moment with Mom

This was going to be a post on Facebook, but it would have been way too long. People get sick of reading a bunch of rants.  Which is one of my specialties, but today...I just want to share something to make you giggle a bit.

My Mom is a very, devout, Catholic; not unusual for a Latino household.  My Mom surrounds herself in Catholicism.  It's on the radio.  It's on the television.  It's all over the house.  My old bedroom has been turned into a shrine for the Virgin Mary and La Virgen De Guadalupe.  So much, that I feel kinda guilty looking at "questionable" materials online when I'm in the room....But that passes quickly.

The other day, I was at the house, having some lunch in the kitchen.  The television in the kitchen is always on one of the Catholic networks.  She usually watches the programming while she washes dishes or prepares dinner.  There is a counter with stools, where you can eat.  The screen is facing here, while she's at the sink.  I realized that the television volume was quite loud when I heard very, heavy, intense, breathing.  Then there was moaning.  I caught a glimpse of what was playing.  All I know at there were  nuns, a priest, and one of the priests or some other guy was in agony and suffering.  Hey! That's not original to Catholicism....I realize that the last sentence can be taken the wrong way and used to make many jokes....but I can't go there when priests and nuns are involved.  Even though some priests have done some foul shit.  I just can't.  Moving on!

Anyhow, the moaning and heavy breathing continues.  It was getting really weird. I think my Mom felt the awkwardness, so she walks away from the television and comes over to chat with me.  I don't know who the hell the editor of this film was, but he had to be Catholic.  This scene dragged on, with no dialogue whatsoever!  Just moaning, breathing, the sounds of suffering amplified to express closeness to God, and the occasional sound of a dripping, wet, cloth, that was used to pour over the guy's head.  Wait a minute!  That didn't come out right! Doh!  That didn't either /:(

I know Catholics like to dwell on the suffering of Christ and all, but this was ridiculous.  I couldn't even look my Mom in the eye.  I was so close to saying "What the hell are you watching?"  But, I was on my way out the door anyways.  So, I just said goodbye.  As always, my Mom always blesses me with the sign of the cross before I leave the house.  Awkward....

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